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July 1997 Yes, I suppose you could say they do. But what the hell, I like ’em anyway. I mean, let’s face it, what we have here is a quintet of full-breasted British women out to conquer the world through a heavy dose of Las Vegas schmaltz and a generous topping of sexual exploitation. They sing, they dance, they wear scanty clothing, they pose for the camera, all bubbly smiles, long legs and effervescent energy. What’s there not to like? |
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Sure the Spice Girls are somewhat demeaning to the intellect. But what red-blooded individual doesn’t want his or her brain to go soft every now and then. If this were not the case, I doubt if TV and half the magazines on the newsstands would be as successful as they are. I don’t think that quality of intellect is a big concern in modern times. Big tits and shapely legs, on the other hand, do seem to register pretty high on the cultural barometer. |
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And then there’s the Spice Girls’ vocals. You have to give them this much: the songs may be stupid -- and so may the Spice Girls, for that matter -- but they do sing fairly well. I’ve heard them live and they manage to pull off some very decent harmonies while they’re dancing up a storm. Of course, no single one of them is a vocal powerhouse, but as an ensemble, they’re not bad. Should you be interested, the Spice Girls’ rocket ship to fame goes something like this: In 1993 (or ’94, according to some sources), Geri Halliwell, Victoria Aadams, Melanie Brown and Melanie Chisholm met via an ad for a girl group in The Stage ("R.U. 18-23 with the ability to sing/dance. R.U. streetwise, outgoing, ambitious and dedicated..."). Eventually, the founding four recruited final member Emma Bunton and the nascent Spice Girls began singing at parties, record company offices, etc. -- wherever they basically were not thrown back out the door. Soon they found themselves an able manager, in the person of Simon Fuller, got signed to Virgin Records, and the rest is, well, Spice Girl history. The Spice Girls are an eyeful to behold and not altogether unpleasant on the ears. So why would I go and say they suck? Well, if you can listen to their hit single, "Wannabe," without "really, really" wanting to leap out the window, you’re a better person than I am. If you can read the lyric sheet contained in their debut CD, Spice, without wondering why they bothered to print it in the first place, you’re a far less inquisitive soul than I am. And if you can listen to the Spice Girls’ studio hacks churning out putrid background Muzak without wanting to execute the whole lot of them, you’re a truly gentle soul -- God bless you, Tiny Tim. On the other hand, the Spice Girls do possess some undeniable qualities. They have spunk, no doubt about that. Boring, they are not. (Annoying, well, that’s another issue.) Furthermore, when Emma Bunton takes over lead vocals, it’s a treat of sorts -- she’s got a genuinely good voice (witness the middle verse in "Naked," which, by the way, is not a bad song, all things being equal). Furthermore, as mentioned, the Spice Girls harmonize quite nicely: their voices are tuneful, if not dynamic, and clearly in sync. So what does all this mean? Are the Spice Girls an entourage of talented musicians? At the risk of being indecisive, I’ll have to say the jury’s still out on this one. I will go so far as to state that there is something to the Spice Girls that can definitely be qualified as talent: showmanship, for one and... ...how about those legs. As I said, what’s there not to like?
More Spice Girls on NY Rock:
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