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  A Cheap Date with Cameron Diaz by Mason Hawk

Cameron Diaz must be a cheap date. She loves French fries and Egg McMuffins, and is a self-confessed "burger whore." One can't help but wonder, however, after witnessing her exquisite five-foot-nine frame, if she isn't being a tad disingenuous. Although she claims to flinch at the mention of the word "salad," I suspect there's probably a decent flow of health food being pumped into the immaculate wonder that is Cameron Diaz.

So how did this "wonder" come to grace the planet Earth? The facts go like this: Daughter of a Cuban-American father and German-native American mother, Cameron was born some 25 years ago and grew up in Long Beach, California. (She says her father planned on naming her Menachem El Genio or Seb Emilo, but gave up the plan when he realized he had a baby girl on his hands.)

Needless to say, she was a cute kid and an even cuter teenager. It wasn't until she was the ripe old age of 16, however, before she was plucked from a Hollywood party and firmly planted on the road to fame.

Cameron Connects
with Co-Star Ewan McGregor
Her first stint in the glamour industry involved working the runways as an Elite model, during which time she earned a "comfortable, if not hugely successful living" (poor thing probably made under seven figures). Some five years later, the rocket ship took off when she landed the part of Tina Carlyle in The Mask. The movie sent Jim Carrey's eyes popping out of their sockets, while many members of the audience experienced a similar phenomenon, albeit one related with a body part situated a good deal lower on the anatomy.

Mask, as we all know was a phenomenal success, as was My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997), in which Cameron, in the role of crowd-shy Kimi, managed to steal Julia Roberts' one true love – an accomplishment that would have been unthinkable if not for the fact that Diaz is so incredibly stunning she could probably steal the moon from the sky should she so desire.

At this point Cameron's acting skills and breathtaking beauty has been well recognized by the press and public alike. Film critic Rogert Ebert has given her a solid thumbs up, labeling her "a genuine sex bomb with a gorgeous face" (Roger doesn't get the big bucks for nothing.)

Click Me
With her most recent outing, A Life Less Ordinary, in which she teams up with rising star Ewan McGregor, Diaz seems poised to permanently lock in her status as superstar icon. Director Danny Boyle says, "Casting Cameron was the best single decision we made."

Boyle is probably right. I mean, what can you say about a girl who is blonde, beautiful, rolls her own cigs and professes to hate Mariah Carey. ("If you really want to torture me, sit me in a room strapped to a chair and put [her records] on.") Diaz is obviously one of the true goddesses of this decade.

As for me, I'm just a mere mortal and I've been writing these NY Rock sex pieces for a little over a year now. The experience, quite frankly, has me ready to retire to a nice job at Reader’s Digest or Family Circle – there's only so much you can say about well-endowed bombshells before you begin to run thin. I think I'd like to try my hand at describing a few good pot roasts or eggplant casseroles for a change – or maybe I'll do a piece on cheeseburgers and score a few points with Cameron Diaz.

January 1998

More Soft Porn Central

Movies starring Cameron Diaz:
Being John Malkovich, Any Given Sunday

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