On the contrary, we feel that we owe our loyal viewers and our libidos something with a little more zest. And in the wake of our Jenny McCarthy review – which was nothing short of a smashing success – we though we'd seek out another large-breasted celebrity to gawk at endlessly under the pretense of reviewing her Websites. Although we did consider Tyra Banks, Pamela Anderson was a relative no-brainer. We were looking for someone with charm, intellect and wit. Of course, we know absolutely nothing about Pam, but we're sure she's got all of these qualities and more...

For the review, our panel was given the following guidelines to be rigorously applied in their evaluation of the sites. All candidates were to be judged on the following criteria:

1. Visual Effects. Put simply, the more of Pamela we see, the better.

2. Content. Preferably no content – the more of Pamela we see, the better.

3. Layout and Design. Who cares – what are you kidding?

Furthermore, our panel was distinctly instructed to take off points for any remote signs of intelligence or artistry in any of the Anderson sites since these concepts are decidedly anathema to the very nature of the project. And as always, the staff was given free reign to help themselves to the oleo margarine but told in no uncertain terms to lay off the virgin olive oil since that stuff can run up quite a bill at three to four dollars a bottle.

And now the winners...

3rd Runner-Up
Unofficial Homepage of Pamela Anderson
http://koti.kolumbus.fi/~taptii/pic.htm * defunct *
This fellow committed the major offense of actually putting a hunk of text on his page and then, to boot, he asks us if we would like to click to the "text-only" version. Is he insane? He does, however, include a couple of risque (that's French for naked, see below) shots of Pammy which warmed our hearts greatly and immediately put him back in the running. He does, however, need to do a little work on his HTML coding – either that or Pammy better lay off the cherry cheese cake for a few days.

2nd Runner-Up
Pamela Lee Picture Gallery
http://www.public.asu.edu/~ispawn/pamela/pictures.html * defunct *
The first question that begs to be asked here is: Don't these sites that end in ".edu" belong to the great American institutions of higher learning and, if so, how long has masturbation been a required course in universities everywhere. Nevertheless, there's nary a word to be read on this mighty page, just plentiful pictures of Pamela Anderson in and out of the buff. Of course, we could have used a little more buff – and we had no choice but to shave off a point or two because of this – but we really can't complain...

1st Runner-Up
Images de Pamela Anderson
http://www.chez.com/sebbross/pamela.html * defunct *
Want some nude pictures of Pammy? Need we ask? We have very little idea what this page is trying to tell us, since it's in French, which obviously boosted our opinion of it by at least 50 or 60 points. As an added attraction, this fellow has included a set of links to just about every sex site under the sun including Blow Job Heaven, Wrinkly Old Mothers, and Perverts Inn – he's obviously a very busy man.

The Winner!
Pamela Anderson
http://www.phil.muni.cz/~tox/pamela/pam.html * defunct *
The somewhat unoriginal title notwithstanding (nobody here asked for creativity), this site is clearly the winner. We can safely say this is the Energizer Bunny of Pamela Anderson Websites, it just keeps on going. Pictures and pictures and more pictures – 15 pages worth! This guy must have gone through a lot of Crisco gettin' this babe up. Nevertheless, Phil – or whatever this fellow's name is – is clearly a hard worker and we officially crown his site Pamela Anderson Shrine of the Century – that and a buck-and-a-half should easily get him a ride on the downtown 4 train.

Well, that's it folks. We're a service-oriented operation and we now feel we've done our duty. For anyone out there who notices that there are quite a few Pamela Websites that went unnoticed in this piece, we extend our heartfelt apologies. However, after a few thousand hours of viewing Pam's flesh, we could take no more. We're afraid, you're on your own from here.