As you might imagine, the new virus, dubbed the "Love Bug," has inspired a series of copycat viruses. And there have been many, receiving less publicity, which are far more devastating than the first. Certain spin-offs of the "I Love You" email virus include:

"Super-de-duper, I Love You" – Attaches itself to your hard drive and plays a QuickTime video of Barney's "I Love You" song at startup. The only way to disengage this bug is by taking a sledgehammer to your motherboard, but if you had this virus, you already knew that.

"I Love You, Though I Never Met You" – Automatically sends a marriage proposal to a predetermined list of celebrities' email addresses. Every two hours.

"I Love You, And You, And You" – Automatically downloads dozens of filthy photos of Pamela Anderson Lee to your hard drive. For those of you who had previously downloaded dozens of filthy photos of Ms. Lee on purpose, you probably do not have this virus. Just to be safe, however, take a sledgehammer to your motherboard anyway.

"I Love My Boyfriend's Son" – Automatically shuts your computer down, without warning, as soon as "The Jerry Springer Show" comes on. It does not, however, seize you with an uncontrollable urge to watch trashy talk shows; that emotion occurs naturally in Americans.

"Stop in the Name of Love" – If you're affected by this virus your browser, when activated, will immediately to go the Ticketmaster site and repeatedly try to buy tickets for the upcoming Supremes tour. The sinister part of this virus, of course, is that since the "Supremes" will be composed of Diana Ross and two people who joined the Supremes after Diana left the group, it's not really the Supremes at all. It's like Supremes Lite, and seriously, who wants to pay for that?

"Love on the Rocks" – The blood-curdling "Neil Diamond" virus, which sets up a giant photo of a sweaty Neil as your wallpaper and plays "Love on the Rocks" at startup. Do not bother taking a sledgehammer to the motherboard in this case. Use it on yourself.

"I Just Want To Be Friends" – This attachment file will optimize your computer's hardware and software for about two months then crash the hard drive horribly, irrevocably destroying every file, wiping out your address book and leaving you a weeping, slobbering, drunken mess. Authorities believe that, like the "I Love You" virus, a woman authored this virus.