February 2001

OK, listen up. Our new president, George Bush the Sequel, isn't the only one pushing diversity around here. Have you seen this month's cover of NY Rock? On it, we feature an African-American, a Latino, and a bald lesbian (Busta Rhymes, Jennifer Lopez, and Joan Jett, respectively). Is this politically correct or what? Shamefully so, I'm afraid. But have no fear, we are already taking strides to avoid this sort of behavior in the future....

Along these lines -- and in honor of our exalted leader, El Presidente Bushe -- we would like to introduce our latest product, the Home Self-Abortion Kit (which, for a limited time only, comes with a complimentary set of Ginsu knives and a Veg-O-Matic). The kit is currently perfectly legal. We recommend that you act now, before the situation changes. Supplies are limited and our new kit just may be your only alternative in the days ahead (if the Honorable DWI Bush has his way). The Home Self-Abortion Kit is light, portable, and it's great for hanging shirts in-between unwanted pregnancies.

By the way, have you heard about our new cut-rate life insurance policies?

Okay, enough of this, our current smorgasbord includes:

• Music News: Napster, Go-Go's, NOFX, Foo Fighters, Black Crowes, Rancid
• Interviews: Jennifer Lopez, Busta Rhymes, Moby
• Movie Reviews: Hannibal, Head Over Heels
• Features: WWF, Bushonomics, Quality TV, Rocky Horror
• Concert Reviews: Cheap Trick, k.d. lang, Deftones