Will Ferrell in 'Old School'

For it to pass the plot requirement and proceed directly to the co-ed K-Y wrestling party, Old School begins with beleaguered Luke Wilson as Mitch, a real-estate attorney coming home early from a dreary industry seminar. Expecting to surprise his girlfriend Heidi (Juliet "Natural Born Killers" Lewis), Mitch is himself stunned to see his lady pleasuring herself to hard-core porn and poised to arouse an assortment of blindfolded strangers, including the movie's writer/director Todd Phillips (Road Trip) in a cameo appearance. Phillips knocks upon Mitch's door with a friendly "Hi, I'm here for the gang-bang."

Faster than you can say "sloe gin fizz," Mitch splits with Heidi and rents a house, all too conveniently located on fictitious Harrison College campus. His friend Beanie (Vince Vaughn) vows to rescue Mitch from rebound Hell by turning his buddy's new digs into a Playboy mansion for the Psych 101 set. A few frames after the house's inaugural party, dubbed "Mitchapalooza" and featuring entertainment courtesy of Snoop Dogg, Mitch has a new roommate in Frank the Tank (Will Ferrell – who steals the out-of-control road show). Frank quickly earns the title of Old School's class clown after downing a few beer funnels, disrobing, and deciding to single handedly bring back Streaking as an elective credit.

Back on campus and up until Mitchapalooza, Frank was a semi-happy newlywed who only occasionally wondered about the construction of the waitresses' underwear during the couple's weekly dinners at Olive Garden. (Hmm, maybe unlimited garlic bread isn't the only reason to "feel like family.") Not exactly surprisingly, Frank's worrisome wife wants a divorce leaving him to concentrate on important stuff like hazing pledges (aged 19 to 89) and his late '70s Trans Am (impressive, but hardly Old School's only credentials when it comes to T & A).

Of course, in true college-movie form, it isn't long before the school's spectacled and dastardly Dean Pritchard (Jeremy Piven, Black Hawk Down) schemes to revoke the pledging frat's charter by any underhanded means necessary. Pritchard, it seems, is out to avenge being ostracized and thrown in a dumpster by Mitch and co. when he was a younger and even more annoying nerd. With power and authority aplenty, Pritchard bribes the student-body president to annul the charter with promises of a guaranteed entry to Columbia Law School. As if anyone in their right mind and healthy libido would want to leave horny ol' Harrison College.

Soon, sub-plots thicken when word of the frat's existence spreads to the working world where every man, from Mitch's white-collar co-workers to coffeehouse waiters, begs to pledge the frat to escape back to their glory days when weekends meant Homecoming and beer blasts rather than Home Depot and Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Insecure intellects need not furrow their brows; Old School is much more aligned with Steven Tyler's philosophies than Tyler Durden's. And all who long for one more – or can't wait for their first – rush week, panty raid or food fight are bound to get a quick fix in Old School's attention-deficient-friendly 91 minutes.

Boasting sexed-up sorority sisters in soaking t-shirts, and enough sexual tension to start its own spin-off Fox series, Old School might not pass muster on the Sundance circuit, but it is bound to outclass most films where the credits are really tallied at Hollywood U. – during the opening weekend box office.