Kournikova's match against Lea Ghirardi directly followed Jennifer Capriati's heartbreaking loss to Jana Novotna (gee, I sound like a sports writer already). Fresh back from some sort of 12-step program, Capriati was treated to a chorus of "Go, girl!" and other cheers from the crowd, but alas nothing could save her....

It doesn't take long to notice, by the way, that tennis fans are the most congenial and polite group of assembled human beings on Earth. They root for the underdog, limit their intake of beer to next to nothing, and behave with the utmost aplomb, even though, as I write this, their fortunes are diminishing by about five percent per hour on Wall Street.

Anna Kournikova appeared onstage, I mean on court, at 3:54 p.m. She wore her trademark ponytail and a snug, white outfit that complimented her graceful figure. She's taller and thinner than you might know from her photographs. Seeing her up close, it occurred to me that she looks a bit like Boris Yelstin – if Yelstin were female and really good looking, that is.

Nevertheless, Kournikova, who's famous for her scathing drop shot (I read that in a tennis magazine somewhere), was in top shape. I really don't know squid about tennis, or sports at all, for that matter, but it was obvious that Anna was in control from the start as she easily stole the first set from Ghirardi, six games to one.

(Click Me)

Does Anna pout on court?

I heard that Anna has a tendency to pout and stomp her feet when she misses a shot. I really can't verify this since Kournikova was in the process of effortlessly eliminating the competition at the Open. In fact, she looked pretty damn poised to me, making it all the more apparent that there definitely is something very special about her: she's blonde, well-postured – definitely a master race type.

Does Anna deserve all this media attention?

What the hell, it beats reading about how many people were shot in the South Bronx this week.

Is Anna really ravishingly beautiful?

Sit behind her in the south court as she bobs back and forth in anticipation of a serve and you'll be hard pressed to answer in the negative. More importantly, though, she's obviously quite an athlete. She didn't seem to even break a sweat (unfortunately) as she beat the skirt off Ghirardi. You don't need to be a formally trained sports caster (like me) to see how hard she hits the ball. She's got quite an arm....

Concerning the remainder of Anna's body parts, she has a hell of a pair of legs, a perfectly trim waistline and what appears to be a well-balanced, non-silicon-implanted pair of breasts. In fact, as I watched her, I thought about Anna's tightly-wound physique in comparison to the average woman rocker that you would come across at three a.m. in a club somewhere. Yes, I believe I'm finally beginning to understand this sports stuff, after all these years.

Fifty-one minutes later, at 4:45 p.m., the match was over – final score: 6-1, 6-3 in Kournikova's favor. As I headed out from the stands, I noticed a frantic Spice Girls-like crowd assembled at Anna's side of the court, screaming her name and jockeying for autographs. Is Anna Kournikova a star? Whether the sports media likes it or not, the answer is an obvious resounding yes.

Days later, Anna lost in the fourth round to Arantxa Sanchez-Vicario, 6-7, 3-6.