Ralph Nader at Madison Square Garden, 10/14/00 Photo by Glyn Emmerson © 2000 NY Rock

"Let Ralph debate" was the battle cry of the night. Having been excluded from the corporate-sponsored presidential debates, Nader has been left in the cold to take his roots message from the grassy knoll straight to the American public.

If the sold-out crowd in attendance at the Garden was any reflection of the public electorate out there, Gore and Bush best take notice. The burnout, granola set was barely in attendance – the crowd was a nice, well-mannered, even mix of all ages.

Politically correct nice guy Phil Donahue presided over the festivities as if he were running for office himself. Donahue looked much like he once did on the set of his own show, running around like a duck with a thermometer up his ass. God bless him.

Eddie Vedder at Nader-fest, Madison Square Garden, 10/14/00, Photo by Glyn Emmerson © 2000 NY Rock

Regular guy documentary filmmaker Michael Moore, the first speaker of substance, railed on about how Gore and Bush agreed 32 times in the first debate. (Kind of makes that long hike to the polls seem like a bit of a waste, doesn't it?) The words flowed from the pot-bellied behemoth like a sermon at the Church of Ralph.

Moore made light of the fact that Bush can proudly recite on command all the members of his fraternity at Yale, and asked the rhetorical: Can he also remember the names of those executed under his rule as governor of Texas?

Susan Sarandon followed and looked hot in black leather pants crying out against the death penalty. Ani DiFranco offered up the stark, bare and soulful. The pint-sized, dreadlocked, and platform-soled folk goddess of the alterative set took on the cold concrete of the Garden and turned it into a warm and glowing coffee house. DiFranco, whose Righteous Babe Records company is a shining example of the small guy against the power elite, quipped at the press conference before the rally, "I've been on an anti-corporate rampage since I grew pubic hair." Ah hem, how about armpit hair Ani? I couldn't help but notice your bushy and sweaty tuft from the front row.

Ben Harper sang a soulful "Sexual Healing" followed by Tim Robbins, who appeared in character from his film Bob Roberts and sang "Drugs Stink." Flanked by his own secret service men, Robbins pulled off the parody with Dylan-esque charm segueing into "This Land Is Your Land" and finally the chorus of "Let Ralph Debate."

Patti Smith sang "Somewhere over the Rainbow" that was impassioned but out of place. I would rather have heard "Rock 'n' Roll Nigger" or better yet "Rock 'n' Roll Nader." Bill Murray, dressed in orange army fatigues, plugged his appearance as Bosley in the forthcoming Charlies Angels film and was dry to the point of self-parody.

Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam played the classic Bob Dylan protest song, "The Times They Are a Changing," with the author's consent so we were told, and even looked a lot like mid-seventies era Dylan in scruffy beard and army-style jacket.

Ralph Nader ended the evening with an hour-long assault on corporate America, the two-party system, the environment, civil rights and everything else he's been bitching about since the sixties. Ralph, thank God you haven't given up or been assassinated.

For the finale, the High Priestess of Punk, Patti Smith delivered a killer version of "People Have the Power." And for comic relief (albeit somewhat unintentional) we got to witness Donahue attempt to boogie to it.

October 2000

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