He loves me. He loves me not. Poor Carmen. Doesn't know if she's married to a drunken basketball star or if she's still one of world's most eligible single women. I may not be Einstein but somehow the latter of these two possibilities does not seem all that bad.
As of this writing, it appears the November 14th ceremony at the Little Chapel of Flowers was nothing more than spit in the wind, according to a petition recently filed at Orange County (Calif.) superior court. Among the reasons for the annulment, Rodman cited an unsound man, and who can argue with that.
Needless to say, it all saddens me deeply. Take a look at the happy couple pictured below and you'll be choking back the tears too, I'm sure. Of course, there is a silver lining to almost any situation and, Carmen, in your case, the fact that you're no longer married to Dennis Rodman is no less than a cause for celebration. Why? Herewith are the top 10 reasons that come to mind:
1. First off, there's the name: Carmen Electra-Rodman. It just doesn't have the same ring as Pamela Anderson-Lee, does it?
2. Speaking of Tommy Lee, tattooed men with reputedly large shlongs do not necessarily make the best of husbands. Go ask Pamela....
3. As part of his book promotion for Bad As I Wanna Be, Rodman donned a wedding dress and announced that he had decided to become his own bride. Carmen, you've obviously got a polygamist on your hands.
4. During Rodman's affair with Madonna, he claimed that he repeatedly refused to go down on her. Suffice it to say, Carmen, you could have experienced some heavy disappointment in this area yourself.
5. According to sources, the main reason behind the split was Rodman's refusal to sign a post-nuptial agreement. No head? No money? Now, does that sound like fun?
6. You're a good-looking brainless actress and Dennis is a good-looking brainless athlete. This may bode well for a tumble in the hay but who's gonna man the checkbook in the family and help little Dennis Jr. with his homework?
7. Rodman's lawyer, Gerald Phillips, has threatened to call witnesses to testify that Rodman was drunk beyond words at the ceremony, if the annulment is contested. Carmen, I think if Dennis once loved you, he's drifting at this point.
8. In Rodman's aforementioned autobiography he claimed that, during games, he often sits on the bench thinking about masturbating. I don't mean to be a stickler but shouldn't he be thinking about you?
9. Speaking of his book, Carmen, have you read it? Enough said....
10. According to Rodman, he hasn't even seen you in the nine days since the marriage. Once again, Carmen, if he once loved you, I think he's drifting.
There you have it, 10 good reasons to walk away from Rodman and not feel too
bad about it. Unfortunately, Carmen, annulments don't bode well for alimony,
nor does the absence of that post-nuptial agreement you had asked for.
Furthermore, in California, support is based on the number of years married
the most your nine days with Dennis could have netted you would have been,
maybe, a course or two at your favorite Beverly Hills restaurant. Not much,
but then, you do have your freedom and that's gotta be worth something.
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