© 2006 Dr. Dot, NY Rock Dr. Dot (a nickname given by Frank Zappa in 1988) has tended to the musical elite for nearly two decades. She describes herself as a "rock chick" who, as a teenager, wanted to meet her musical heroes without trading sexual favors. Instead, Dr. Dot offered massages, which she had been perfecting since she was five years old. Clients have included Sting, Eminem, the Rolling Stones, Sheryl Crow, Robert Plant, Kiss, Aerosmith, Blondie, Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, Vin Diesel, R. Kelly and Bruce Willis. She recently completed her first American book, "Butt-Naked and Backstage: Diary of the World's Greatest Rock and Roll Masseuse." Submit a question to Dr. Dot

Dear Patty,
It could be the guy you are with isn't getting you wet enough. The condom tears when your snatch isn't wet enough. So take your time with foreplay, lots of kissing, anticipation and oral to get your juices flowing. To be sure, carry some lube with you, like K-Y Jelly in a tiny inconspicuous container so it won't be so obvious. (If you aren't shy, whip out a big tube of gel and lather up.) Take a tiny amount of gel and wet your lips (you know what lips I mean). If you put too much on it, the condom may slip off inside of you and that's not safe/fun either. Don't save money on condoms, buy a well-known (and already lubricated) brand. If he moans about this lube process, tell him he should spend more time making you wet and you wouldn't have to bring your own juice.
- Dr. Dot

Dear O'Brien,
If you left her for that, karma would kick you in the balls big time. Just take her index finger and suck, lick, stroke it just like you would want her to treat your rod. She will be able to feel how you like it.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Brian,
First of all, think positive. You can't grow the skin back or buy a new one, so what's done is done. Stand by your, er, man, and be very confident that she will love it. If you present it like it's a freaky thing, she may panic. Don't say a thing about it, just stick to your regular make-out routine and if she mentions it, make a little joke and say, "Our moms are so afraid that we won't keep our pecker skin clean that they cut it off to prevent any dick cheese from growing." She may love your cock because it's different for her. The grass is always greener theory could work in your favor.

I'd like to take this opportunity to say, I prefer the natural "look" and find the circumcising ritual to be stupid, selfish, cruel, and completely unjustified. It should be illegal.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Anon,
Tell him to lighten up! Hillary forgave Bill for getting a blow job. You did NOT break your promise if it was not to fuck anyone else. Oral sex isn't fucking someone else. We are all human, and sometimes these things happen. True love should be able to withstand a few mistakes. Write him a letter and tell him, "It may be hard for you to trust me again, but please believe I love you and that was just a physically weak moment, a point where my lack of sex was too much to bear." Make sure you emphasize the points:

a. He was not giving it to you often enough even though you kept asking.

b. Even the president was forgiven after an oral-sex affair.

c. You love him and would forgive him if that happened to him.

d. Sex is NOT love. You love him; the other guy was just a drunken mistake.

e. Nobody is perfect... And as far as your own piece of mind, remember, what will be, will be and just because you love one, doesn't mean you have to hate the rest!

- Dr. Dot

Dear LL,
Young guys are usually too picky with girls. But, as time goes on and you realize they aren't exactly throwing themselves at you; you may need to lower your standards a bit, as in, she doesn't have to look like Angelina Jolie or Hilary Duff. Girls that are super hot are sometimes shallow and/or mean. They don't have to develop a good character as they get by on their looks. So maybe you should take notice of the plain girls for once. Confidence wins over most girls, and to build it, you may need to "date down" (a girl less attractive than yourself). I know this sounds mean, but it will give you practice and build your confidence. Making girls laugh is the best aphrodisiac that I know.
- Dr. Dot

Dear B.O.B,
I wouldn't let too much time pass or she will find another. No one is irreplaceable. You say you aren't sure if you can trust her, yet you had a female sleeping over that she didn't know about, and you are being mean to her when she calls. You must have a huge cock. Not many girls would put up with that shit, sorry. If you "still love her" like you say, you'd better get busy and show it, or you can kiss that one good bye.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Joel,
Making your girlfriend "desperate" for sex will usually backfire on you, as (a) girls don't need it as bad as guys do and, (b) girls can get laid any time, anywhere. So don't push your luck. Try doing her outside to add spice. Ask her to wear a skirt or dress and just lift it up somewhere quiet (or a public toilet) and give her a good licking/stickin. Always doing it in the bedroom will bore anyone. Use your imagination and ask her for ideas. Communication and fantasy are vital for a hot sex life.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Anon,
Tell him you have a raging bladder/yeast infection. If he gets to nosy and/or pushy, give him oral sex to ease the tension.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Pammie,
Ah, the old Bait and Switch. I think it's a bad idea when the woman changes her life for the man. He should change his life for you, if anything. Now it's done and you see the results. It's an old expression, but why should he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free? If you miss your old life, tell him you want to move back there and he can join you if he wants. If you like the East Coast, try to get your own place and make sure you tell him why you are moving out. If he wants you bad enough, he will move his ass and fulfill his promise. If not, you won't feel as guilty leaving that bullshit behind.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Tara,
Sit him on the corner of your bed (doesn't work if mattress is on the floor) or put him in a chair. Kneel in front of him, with lubrication gel close at hand. Blow him a bit first to make sure he is up for the occasion, then lube your cleavage a bit. Stick his knob in between your breasts and squeeze them together as hard as you can, then slide your tits up and down his shaft in a nice, slow rhythm. It's rather difficult (they make it look so easy in the "movies"). Smile and make eye contact to let him know you are having a blast. It may be difficult/impossible to get him to cum like that, so don't take it personally; the titty fuck is mainly for wank bank footage (images to store in their mind for masturbation).
- Dr. Dot

Dear Anon,
Bacterial vaginosis (BV) causes a fishy smell and some itching/burning (oh so fun). It's not 100% clear how BV is related to sexual activity, although there may be a link with having a new sexual partner and/or a large number of sexual partners. The coil seems to increase the risk of BV. Sometimes the "fishy" smell comes from the sperm. After all, sperm is like a fish, a tiny tadpole. If there are any sperm lingering around in her snatch, it could start to smell like dead fish after a while. So don't be so quick to blame the chicks for smelling like fish when you guys are the ones who produce it.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Heidi,
If a man hates his job or feels inadequate, it is difficult for him to be nice to his girlfriend. He probably resents you for loving him and treating him so well, as subconsciously he feels he doesn't deserve it and gets pissed off that you put him on such a high pedestal when he knows he hasn't earned the privilege. If they have a tiny dick, no car or hate their job, they may take it out on their loved ones. So, the nicer you are, the meaner he will get. Stop putting so much effort into things, just BE. Make him swoon over you. It's his turn to be the fucking cheerleader. You will see an immediate change. Not for all, but for some, it's "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen."
- Dr. Dot

Dear SS,
None. Don't believe the hype. Your cock is just like any other muscle in your body; the more you use it, the stronger and bigger it will get. Use it or lose it.
- Dr. Dot

Dear DD,
I may sound like a prick, but it could be you are with the wrong partner. I assume, since you are 45 and just now have this problem, that you have shot your load into a few women in the past. If you are attached to this woman, then stop stressing. Tell her to stop stressing and try different positions that make your cock think it's safe in your wanking hand. She should count her blessings that she has a man who can go on and on without cumming. Tell her your glass is half full, not half empty.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Tess,
Too big? Give him my number. Just kidding. Most women pray for such a tool. Hard to imagine it being a burden. Try to avoid doing it doggy style, as this is the position that makes even tiny-tooled men feel bigger. You could do it in the missionary position with lots of lube and/or be on top, squatting, so you can control the depth and speed of the penetration. If you blow him for a long time, it shouldn't take him long once he is inside, hence minimizing the pain.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Sadie,
Sorry, but that is a no-no. If you left your guy for him, the new one would never trust you. You would ruin a friendship and it could backfire. People always want what they can't have. Perhaps that is the enticing aspect. I am not a prude, but to me, being a buddy fucker is right up there with being a home wrecker. Boooooo, hisssssssss.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Fed-up,
Sounds like someone has been shit on. I think men fib to prevent hurt feelings. I have never met a man who can be 100% honest, but you can't change that. They lie because they know that their girl will flip out if she knows the truth. Best thing is to not flip out, just keep busy with your own issues/activities and it will eliminate pressure. When you put a man in the center of your life, the pressure gets too much for them and they snap. Don't try to make a man responsible for your whole life, your happiness, etc. By the way, women lie too. Push-up bras/silicone tits, make-up and Botox make them appear prettier. High heels make them taller. Corsets make them thinner. Hair color and colored contact lenses are misleading. Pretending to want cock 24/7 at the beginning of a relationship to lure them in is also a lie. So you see, men are not the only ones who bend the truth. Lighten up or there may come a day when there is no one around to lie to you.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Mr. A.E.,
I don't normally answer already answered questions, but Mr. "Amply Endowed" (all the blood that should be in your brain is obviously in your "ample" appendage), you've irritated me like a fucking rash. You seem to be "unaware" of that giant tool you have. There are a few muscles in the cock, one is called the Pubo Coccygeal (PC), which helps maintain an erection and can control premature ejaculation.

The width of the penis is determined by two others: the Ischio Cavernous (IC) and Bulbo Cavernous (BC). These two sheets of voluntary muscle wrap around the shaft of the penis like the belts on a radial tire. When pumped and contracted they give added rigidity and thickness to the shaft. As with any of the voluntary muscles, these can be exercised and both their strength and size improved. Like I said, "The more you use it, the bigger and stronger it gets." Now, kiss my ass, wanker and stop whining about advice you get for FREE.

P.S. Since when is the size of a man's cock an "important health issue"?
- Dr. Dot

Dear Suspicious,
You can't gage how often a man is "getting sex" by how fast he shoots his load. He could be wanking several times a day but no intercourse, which could make him last a bit longer, or have a few different women. You will never know.

He cheats on his wife. Chances of him being true to you are slim. Take off your rose-colored glasses so you can see that trying to find out where you stand is a huge waste of time. You can't count on or make demands on a borrowed man.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Mandy,
First let me tell you how to avoid this dilemma in the future. After you've kissed for a while, give his cock a good squeeze. If he is either too big *sigh* or too small, slowly end the make-out session and tell him things are moving too fast, you have to go. Now, to let the poor fella down gently, tell him you decided you want to be single again, or your ex has won you back. The best way to get rid of any man without hurting his feelings is to tell him, "I'm tired of sex; I just don't want it anymore."
- Dr. Dot

Dear Pete,
It is true, taking certain antibiotics make the pill less effective. Doubting her about this is not a good idea. All you can do is politely ask her what she plans to do. And, more importantly, to avoid this situation in the future, remember: No Glove, No Love.
- Dr. Dot

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