© 2006 Dr. Dot, NY Rock Dr. Dot (a nickname given by Frank Zappa in 1988) has tended to the musical elite for nearly two decades. She describes herself as a "rock chick" who, as a teenager, wanted to meet her musical heroes without trading sexual favors. Instead, Dr. Dot offered massages, which she had been perfecting since she was five years old. Clients have included Sting, Eminem, the Rolling Stones, Sheryl Crow, Robert Plant, Kiss, Aerosmith, Blondie, Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, Vin Diesel, R. Kelly and Bruce Willis. She recently completed her first American book, "Butt-Naked and Backstage: Diary of the World's Greatest Rock and Roll Masseuse." Submit a question to Dr. Dot

Dear Anon,
Sounds like he cums so quickly because he doesn't care about you, just his little cock. The size of his penis has nothing to do with his stamina. Obviously, he likes you a little bit, otherwise he wouldn't be dogging you. He is young and selfish. Make him lick you until you cum, then let him fuck you. Get your priorities straight.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Big S,
Notice how the sperm race towards the egg? They fight to be the first one to the egg. In my opinion, sex is always best when the man initiates it. Sure it's hot once in a while when your lady shows you she is hot and ready, but if she was the one usually starting the romp, wouldn't you feel more feminine? How strange would it be for the egg to suddenly chase after the sperm? I doubt your problem has to do with the fact that she isn't asking for sex. I think it's more that you are getting bored and worrying that a mid-life crisis/dry spell is heading your way.

I am against pill popping, even though I am aware millions make a living cramming pills down people's throats. In my opinion, you have two separate problems. The first is your sex life has become tedious and boring. This happens to most couples, sadly. I feel that sleeping apart keeps passion alive. Sleeping next to your partner makes them so familiar it can be hard to lust after them. All the tossing and turning and smelling each other's farts can turn any hot romance into a predictable hell. Try sleeping separately once in a while. (I prefer ALWAYS sleeping apart, but that's just my twisted mind.)

Second, make sure you are having alone time with you and your best friend: your cock. Make sure you two have naughty sessions to remind you who's really in charge. As far as getting soft, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it does come with age. You can try to prevent it by avoiding fluoride (tap water/tooth paste) because I think it's a hard-on killer. (It can't just be a coincidence that men born and raised in places that have fluoride in their drinking water have trouble with erections but have nice teeth. Whereas in Europe, etc., they have crappy teeth because there is no fluoride in their water, but have NO problem getting and staying hard.) You two could also try a change of scenery. Fucking in the same old bed time and again will make fantasy and passion difficult.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Nat,
Sounds like someone has too much free time on their hands. Get busy. Get your life back. In other words, get a life. What will be, will be. You can't make someone love you or come back to you. If it's meant to be that you two reconcile, it will happen, but sitting around sweating about him will not change anything. It will simply waste time. Before my grandmother, Dot senior, died, she told me, "If you have one foot in the past and one in the future, your legs will be wide apart shitting all over today." Stressing over what was or what will be is actually ruining your present life and that's all we really have. So cheer up. This isn't a rehearsal. It's the real deal. We only live once.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Anon,
It could mean he is not over his ex or he is indeed fucking other girls. Sooner or later, one should learn to just use the term "sweetie/babe/honey/cutie" so that this problem never occurs in bed.

If you want to have some fun, next time you fuck him, yell out a woman's name when you cum. When he asks, "What the fuck?" it will be your cue to tell him, "Doesn't feel good, does it?" Or you could just stick to the story that you also sleep with a woman from time to time to keep him guessing. Just like he keeps you guessing. Mystery keeps things hot.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Anon,
Perhaps she is screwing the UPS man and his cock is ooooh so much wider than yours, or she has a monster dildo that you don't know about. I think her "feeling loose" could be that she is very wet and horny because she is excited to see you/fuck you again. You say after a few days it returns to normal. It could be because she got bored of your ass already. Absence does make the heart/genitals grow fonder.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Anon,
There is a book called "Scientifically Guaranteed Male Multiple Orgasms and Ultimate Sex" by Alan Ritz. My suspicion is that the author pulled this term out of his ass to get quick shooters/tiny men to run to the shop to buy his book. There is a muscle, however, called the vastus intermedius profundus (VIP) in rabbits. And there is a vastus intermedius in humans, but its origin is the anterior and lateral shaft of the femur and its purpose is to extend the knee -- which is ironic since when most men cum they extend their knees, you know, staighten their legs, and point their toes. Anyway, the vastus intermedius muscle has nothing to do with the penis. You could buy the book and decide for your self. Silly me, I always thought the man's VIP muscle was his cock.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Wanda,
Try doing it doggy style while you both watch your naughty film or lie on your back while he munches on you. (You can have your head hanging over the bed and watch upside down or look to the side.) When guys watch porn together, they just sit there in silence, but when a couple watches it, they may want to get busy. Don't ask him, just get naked and into position. He will follow your lead.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Kate,
First of all, this G-spot bullshit is highly overrated. When one is looking for mine, it just makes me have to piss. Ditto with all of my gal pals. The clit is like a tiny penis. In fact, some will argue that it IS a tiny penis that just never grew. So you have to treat it similarly to a penis. Could you make a man cum just by touching his balls? Highly unlikely. One of you would have to touch his cock to get him to cum. Same with the clit. He can lick your clit or slide against it while you two are shagging to get you to cum. Stop worrying so much about a "vaginal orgasm" or your mysterious G-spot and just enjoy the fact that he can make you cum. I know many women who can't cum at all, so count your blessings.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Carol,
Honey, if you have been dating him for six years and still don't know whether he is gay, you have serious problems. First of all, gay men don't date women. They like cock. Did you and the other girlfriends stop to think that maybe he is just a man who doesn't like to suck face/pussy? Kissing is extremely intimate, as is oral sex. Some people are just not that deep. Like it or leave it.
- Dr. Dot

Dear cc,
Put a bunch of coins in a tin can and the next time she blows you and her fangs dig in, shake the can aggressively. Dog trainers use this tactic, but I am sure it will work for your toothy gal. Tell her to roll her lips over her teeth, like she has no teeth, just gums (like that old lady in King Pin) and tell her not to let her teeth touch your willy. Explain to her that it's like being in heaven and hell at the same time.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Bonnie,
Why not enjoy the horizontal part with him as much as you can and when you are done tell him you have things to do. Keeping busy is good for the soul, so is great sex. It is hard to find someone who is perfect for you in every category. Be honest with him and tell him you love having sex with him, but that's about it. Some men don't mind being on call just for sex. Relying on someone to entertain you is ridiculous. Also, in this day and age, if you are up front about wanting to see other people and practicing safe sex, it's not frowned upon to date more than one person (one who is fun, one who is good in bed, one who spoils you, etc.). Besides, there is no "Mr. Right" there is only "Mr. Right-NOW."
- Dr. Dot

Dear SS,
Angel for Men (or "A*MEN", its nick name) by Thierry Mugler, or Fahrenheit by Christian Dior. Not too much, just a dash here and there. A*MEN has chocolate in it and will make women's mouths water when they get a whiff. The first time I massaged Depeche Mode, they were all wearing it and I have to say, it was difficult for me to concentrate on my work. You will definitely notice more attention from the ladies when you wear these, especially the Angel for Men.
- Dr. Dot

Dear Hal,
It can't be that gay men have given into dominating women and their wish to make men shave. Since when do gay men give a fuck what women think/want? I think it started from certain ad campaigns and films where shaved men were on display. Weak minds get sucked into such images and think that is what they have to do/wear/buy in order to get their pee-pee wet or at least gain a little love and acceptance. Also, young people have little hair, so there is a hidden agenda there (no hair = youth). I find it repulsive when men (hetero or gay) shave anything other than their face. Giving into trends or demands is just a sign of low self esteem. Not to say shaving/waxing means low self esteem. It's just that going further out of your way to look good (and doing annoying things like shaving for more attention) is just trying too hard, which is never sexy. Being yourself, hairy and all, is the hottest thing on earth in my eyes. When I see hetero men with shaved arm pits/crotches, I cringe. It's a sign of high maintenance and vanity (both are usually female or gay traits). Shall we start a "stop shaving" campaign? I will be your biggest supporter. Let it grow!
- Dr. Dot

Dear Larry,
It can be you need to drink more fluids. Also, if you wank many times per day, naturally it can't be a full load every time. Even if a drop comes out, it's still enough to populate the world, so don't panic, and try not to compare your load size to those one sees in porn. Those guys are chosen because of their (1) large schlongs (2) stamina (3) liters of spunk that shoot out of them (all of which are not the norm).
- Dr. Dot

Dear Ass Pain,
I'm sure most of the girls reading this feel for you. We wonder, "Now that he's had my ass, will he always want my ass? Does he like my ass better than my pussy?" and "Since when is ass back on the menu?" I have asked many men about this ass phenomenon, and they do admit the fascination is due to the tight fit and, more importantly, because it's so taboo and dirty (literally). You are the boss of your body, don't put up with anal sex if you don't like it. If it's just okay with you and you do it as a favor, use it as a treat, like once a month or on special occasions. If you give in every time, he will think he can do whatever he wants with you, whenever he wants. If it's a treat, he will appreciate it more. No point in wasting time analyzing why he wants to fuck your ass, and asking him about it will just make him defensive, like you say. So just be happy he likes to be in you, but make sure you call the shots. If you hate it, find a man who isn't into anal (most Brits hate it), because if your guy loves it and you hate it and don't play ball, he may seek his ass fetish elsewhere.
- Dr. Dot

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