Confidential, Saturday, March 28, 1998

Somehow I ended up on the West Side and found myself strolling into the Rock'N'Roll Cafe on Bleeker Street, a place known for its cover bands, a trademark which could be good or bad depending on your taste. On the bill for this evening's pleasures (Friday, March 13th) were No More Tears (covering Black Sabbath) and Soft Parade (covering who else but The Doors).

At the bar, I met a student of brain surgery, Ibarrola Germinal, over buds and shots. He asked me (1) if I would invite him over to my place at five a.m. and (2) if so, would I offer him a breakfast burrito. Furthermore, (3) would I microwave it and finally, (4) would I make sure it wasn't cold in the middle. I responded by asking him what the going price of a lobotomy was – which would come in handy in case I get stuck in conversations like this in the future.

Luckily, No More Tears began their set. Lead singer John Brullo – in black top with long white fringes dangling down both sleeves – started off with "Wizard" and continued, perfectly capturing Ozzy's grooves and moves, with tunes such as "Mr. Crowley," "Paranoid," "Diary of a Madman," "Perry Mason," "Coming Home," and "War Pigs." Backing Brullo were guitarist Tony Turco, bassist Billy Pritchard, drummer Joe Tags and keyboardist Brendan Conolly.

John Brullo of No More Tears

During the performance, John shouted to the crowd, "Make more noise!" to which everyone eagerly complied. With such a cooperative crowd, I thought his next instruction should be, "Give me all your money!" (I mentioned this to Mr. B. Surgeon, who replied that I was "really using [my] brain very well.")

No More Tears ended the set with the eponymous tune "No More Tears," finishing off to an impressive round of applause – albeit one without dollar bills flying through the air.

As Soft Parade began to set up, I chatted at the bar with two Italian immigrants – straight off the boat – who said they not only enjoyed the popcorn at the bar but they really adored "the whores." I was duly impressed not only by their honesty, but by their ability to adapt so quickly to the culinary and carnal delights of New York City. That is, until a little later when my illustrious brain kicked in and I realized they had meant "The Doors" not whores.

Soft Parade performed one hit after another: "Wild Child," "Who Do You Love," "Moonlight Drive," "Love Her Madly," "Twentieth Century Fox" (my personal favorite), "Whiskey Bar" (my second favorite), "Alabama Song," "Break on Through" (am I allowed a third?), and, believe it or not, a lot more.

Is that Jim or is it Memorex? (Joe Russo of Soft Parade)

After their set, I wound up in the backroom with the Soft Parade band members – lead vocalist Joe Russo, drummer Roy Weinberger, guitarist Joe Bilotti and keyboardist Rich Trifan – while they were chowing down on slices of pizza from a nearby parlor. They very politely offered me a slice, but I equally as politely declined, saying that I wanted to finish the flavor in my chewing gum first. (A girl's gotta watch her waistline, ya know.)

Had to make the usual rounds, so I headed off to Coney Island High to catch the end of The Green Door Party. No gossip to report, however, just your usual night of sex, drugs and rock & roll. Til next time...